I once read a feminist say that women shouldn’t have to be pretty for anyone. They are both right and wrong. They are right when they confront abuses against unattractive women. They are wrong when they want to force other women to be unattractive.

Should women be under social coercion to be attractive? For that matter, should men? If you don’t like someone’s conditions, vote with your feet. Find someone who will find you attractive. I have been both attractive and unattractive at different times in my life, and I have had both positive and negative comments on my appearance. I am sure that most other people are in the same boat.

The women who don’t want to be attractive should be free to be unattractive. What they should not do is attack women who are attractive. Sometimes being attractive can be a result of submission to patriarchy; however it can also be a woman’s self-expression. You can be attractive for the sake of others, and you can also be attractive for the sake of yourself.

Probably the worst arguments I’ve seen made were to claim that there is incompatibility between physical beauty and things such as intelligence, spirituality and strength. Now maybe spirituality does not discriminate in favor of beauty; but it most certainly does not discriminate against it, and there is nothing to keep a woman from being both beautiful and spiritual. As for strength and intelligence, these people need to know more Russian women. They are beautiful as well as strong and smart.

Should women be pretty? I believe that women should have a meaningful choice as to what life they lead. A woman who doesn’t want to be attractive should be free to be unattractive; a woman who does want to be attractive should have that freedom as well. Some women once told me that you feel good when you look good. Which means that looking good is one of the joys of living for many women, and keeping women from doing that is disempowering to the women.

If you are endowed with a positive quality that your gender has in greater possession than does the other gender, then attacking this quality is going to be disempowering to yourself and your gender. When feminists attack beauty they undermine a place of women’s superiority to men. This is like saying that men shouldn’t be strong. It does a disservice to women.

I have a very beautiful – as well as smart and strong - daughter, and I want her to avoid the experience of being attacked by feminists. Other than that I want her – and other women – to have a safe life inside the home and a fulfilling life outside the home. I put her under no pressure to look one way or another. She motivates herself. Whether to look good or not to look good should be a woman’s prerogative. And both men and feminists need to respect that choice.