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Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? -- Indiana Jones, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"

arts / alt.arts.poetry.comments / Re: Diver Days. by Will Dockery

Re: Diver Days. by Will Dockery

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Subject: Re: Diver Days. by Will Dockery
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by: Will-Dockery - Sat, 6 Apr 2024 17:44 UTC

> > "Ironywaves" <ironywaves> wrote in message
> > news:vk66q6ii52qb08@corp.supernews.com...
> > Diver Days.
> >
> > Crosslegged, she sits.
> > Red wine, friends.
> > Mellowness & memories.
> >
> > *** *** ***
> >
> > She seems
> > to have a crisis of faith,
> > but she's also sort of a
> > prima donna it seems.
> > A bit absurd with it.
> > Seems to be
> > doing better on this one,
> > this faster rocking gospel plow;
> > needing to use less octaves.
> > It's got the crowd
> > up and clapping,
> > Brother Dave almost jumps.
> >
> > *** *** ***
> >
> > Is it important,
> > or really?
> > Just go right through it.
> >
> >
> Smk wrote:
>
>
> ___________
>
> I scarce know how to deconstruct
> That tawdry, 'so-called', verse!
> For, despite my admonitions,
> Your posts are getting worse!
>
> Your shambling, stumbling, metre!,
> Your syntax, all awry! -
> Go!! -drink whisky!, by the litre!,
> It's time you said, 'Goodbye'!.....

It could stand a rewrite, but the poem is basically sound, in my
opinion.

This is a response to the post seen at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=657835214#657835214

Subject	Author
Re: Diver Days. by Will Dockery	Will-Dockery