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arts / alt.arts.poetry.comments / i revised a poem

SubjectAuthor
* i revised a poemcheesetray
`* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
 `* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
  `* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
   `* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
    `* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
     `* Re: i revised a poemW.Dockery
      `* Re: i revised a poemcheesetray
       `- Re: i revised a poemW.Dockery

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i revised a poem

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: i revised a poem
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2024 01:53:04 +0000
Organization: novaBBS
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 01:53 UTC

it's SO dumb. oh well. i tried.

Re: i revised a poem

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: i revised a poem
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2024 01:55:55 +0000
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 01:55 UTC

cheesetray wrote:

> it's SO dumb. oh well. i tried.

it's my requisite "this is all phony bullshit" "poem"

it's fake. i did it backwards.

Re: i revised a poem

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: i revised a poem
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 02:04 UTC

i think it deserves a raspberry award (lol) (razzberry)

Re: i revised a poem

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: i revised a poem
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2024 02:26:27 +0000
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 02:26 UTC

forget it. it's too embarrassing.

i don't think i can post it. i mean, it's not as bad as real life doll first time around, but it's rather constipated, iykwim...backed up...an unpleasant chore...

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: i revised a poem
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 02:27 UTC

btw, i have no secret hidden hopes of myself or anyone else changing my mind as to it's worth or lack thereof.

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Subject: Re: i revised a poem
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 by: cheesetray - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 03:06 UTC

rachel, the poetess. ha ha ha, what a joke.

Re: i revised a poem

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From: will.dockery@gmail.com (W.Dockery)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: i revised a poem
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2024 18:02:22 +0000
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 by: W.Dockery - Wed, 17 Apr 2024 18:02 UTC

cheesetray wrote:
>
> rachel, the poetess. ha ha ha, what a joke.

Don't be so hard on yourself, not every poem will be a masterpiece.

😏

Re: i revised a poem

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From: roach4994@gmail.com (cheesetray)
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Subject: Re: i revised a poem
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 by: cheesetray - Thu, 18 Apr 2024 17:36 UTC

hi will. oh wow, just seeing it now.

guess what, guys?

i read it, and now, well, i find it worth a post!!! (do NOT read that the wrong way.)

well, maybe it's a poopy post. BUT MAYBE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS IN GEHENNA YESTERDAY, AND REALIZED, THE WHOLE BOWEL THING BOTH WAYS, COULD BE A COMPLETE HOAX. : - ( SAME AS WASN'T EXPECTING IT, WAS EXPECTING IT....(SOMEBODY ELSE)

should i post it now, or wait? are we still mulling over the last 3 ?

i mean, i don't think i have anything left in my pocket.....other than more revisions....like this one, working backwards from rhymes, to stretch it out (uh-oh?) into something more like a poem, not holiday/seasonal raps....

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Subject: Re: i revised a poem
Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2024 18:31:24 +0000
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 by: W.Dockery - Thu, 18 Apr 2024 18:31 UTC

cheesetray wrote:

> hi will. oh wow, just seeing it now.

> guess what, guys?

> i read it, and now, well, i find it worth a post!!! (do NOT read that the wrong way.)

> well, maybe it's a poopy post. BUT MAYBE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS IN GEHENNA YESTERDAY, AND REALIZED, THE WHOLE BOWEL THING BOTH WAYS, COULD BE A COMPLETE HOAX. : - ( SAME AS WASN'T EXPECTING IT, WAS EXPECTING IT....(SOMEBODY ELSE)

> should i post it now, or wait? are we still mulling over the last 3 ?

> i mean, i don't think i have anything left in my pocket.....other than more revisions....like this one, working backwards from rhymes, to stretch it out (uh-oh?) into something more like a poem, not holiday/seasonal raps....

Hello Rachel, I'm slowly reading the other recent poems as of now.

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