Scott Eiler <seiler@eilertech.com> wrote at 03:53 this Friday (GMT):
> I don't see this in the newsgroup, so I'm boosting it.  It seems like as
> good a Last LNH Story as any could be.

Thanks, I didn't see it here in eternal-september.

> Scott 8{D>
>
> On 2024-03-14 19:15, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
>>
>>                   Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #25
>>
>>                    The Totally Real Conclusion!! Honest!!!
>>
>> "Well, guess that wraps up another Leadership Cry.Sig!" said a very
>> out of shape man wearing an Ultimate Ninja costume.  But also a man
>> that anyone who looked at him would just have to say, 'That's The
>> Totally Real Ultimate Ninja!!'  He glanced to another man next to him.
>>  "Time to break out the Victory Cigars!"
>>
>> "Yep!" said another grinning man who began handing out cigars to all
>> the confused and befuddled LNH'rs who were currently in the lobby. 
>> The man had a very ordinary look about him and a T-shirt that read,
>> 'I'm a Totally Real LNH Writer!  Honest!'  He also had what looked
>> like a Totally Real Nobel Prize for LNH Writing hanging on his neck.
>>  "This was probably my most amazing writing yet!  And I couldn't have
>> done it without the fine contributions of those who followed before
>> like Drew, Arthur, Rob, Subset Mask, Jeanne, Scott, and the rest!  But
>> I probably do deserve most of the credit for the amazing job I did
>> wrapping up all of those confusing dangling threads and plotlines.
>>
>> "So good in fact that Saxon Brenton came out of retirement to write
>> another End of the Month review to celebrate my greatness.  Here's
>> what he said," the man began reading from a piece of printer paper he
>> pulled out of one of his pockets.  "There is proof now that Alan
>> Moore, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and James Joyce made incredible
>> passionate love and all of them got really pregnant and all them gave
>> birth to these really colorful robot lions that merged together to
>> give us this Greatest Writer of All Time -- and that proof is --
>> Totally Real LNH Writer Man who wrote this totally great and totally
>> real LNH story!!  So, great in fact that I, Saxon Brenton, will
>> despair for humanity if this great work doesn't win all the awards
>> especially the Nobel Prize For LNH Writing!  For if that does not
>> happen -- Humanity will have committed its Greatest Crime and there
>> Will Be No Hope!!!!!"  The man then stuffed the paper back into his
>> pocket and wiped a tear from his eye.  "Fortunately, I did win all the
>> awards," he gestured to the Nobel Prize dangling from his neck.  "So,
>> yeah.  I did that."
>>
>> Nina Yamashiro looked at the cigar in her hand.  "Wait.  This doesn't
>> -- how did I get here?  I was..."
>>
>> "It's okay, Nina," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja giving her an
>> understanding sympathetic look.  "It's probably that Amnesia that
>> Amnesia gave us all that made us forget a lot of what happened in
>> Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #14-24!"
>>
>>
>> "Yeah yeah yeah!  Amnesia!  That's what happened!" nodded The Totally
>> Real LNH Writer.  "Totally!"
>>
>> "Even, I, with My Totally Real and Incredible Ninja Powers have some
>> gaps in my amazing memory.  But rest assured thanks to my incredible
>> Ninja skills all the bad guys are either dead, in jail, or totally
>> reformed!  And we all saved the Looniverse for like the zillionth
>> time!  And I won that Leadership Election -- Huge Landslide!  So,
>> guess I'm back to being the leader again."
>>
>> "And I also won in a Huge Landslide for Second in Command," Totally
>> Real LNH Writer chimed in, "Sorry, Fearless Leader.  You did a great
>> job, but the times -- they are a changing -- maybe you could be my
>> Deputy Second in Command or something."
>>
>> Fearless Leader started to speak and then just shook his head and gave
>> a sigh.
>>
>> "Wait!  Who even are you?" said Master Roster Man pointing accusingly
>> at Totally Real LNH Writer.  "Have you ever even appeared in a story
>> before?  There's no record of you in any roster!"
>>
>> "Umm?  Oh, sure I have!  Yeah!  Tons of stories!  Probably even more
>> than you!  Yeah!  As for not being in the Roster?"  Totally Real LNH
>> Writer paused a bit as he tried to come up with a good excuse.  "Oh,
>> yeah.  I'm probably in the Top Secret LNH Roster. Yeah!  Where all the
>> Top Secret LNH Members are.  Guess you just don't have Top Secret LNH
>> Roster Access Clearance -- that's a shame.  Plus I've been like a
>> Totally Real LNH Writer for forever.  Was there on day one.  Like I
>> was in the Chatroom with Scuv, Druzzt, wRome, and Dvandamm when they
>> were coming up with the LNH.  And they were like worried.  'Hey! 
>> Should we be doing this?  Seems kind of risky -- this LNH thing.'  And
>> I was like, 'Yeah.  That's why we should do it.  Because it's RISKY!'
>>  And so that's how the LNH formed.  Yep.  Totally True Story!  Uhuh.
>> No need to thank me -- but you can.  I do take Venmo!"
>>
>> "Anyway," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja glaring at Totally Real
>> LNH Writer.  "We're all suffering from that whammy Amnesia threw at
>> us.  Some more than others.  That's probably why most of you can't
>> remember Totally Real LNH Writer.  Even I have these memory holes. 
>> Like with all the various LNH passwords to like the LNH Bank Accounts,
>> Credit Cards, PIN numbers -- and since I'm the leader now because I
>> totally won that LNH Leadership Election by a Big Landslide -- I
>> probably should know all of that.  So if anyone can direct me to the..."
>>
>> "No!  This is wrong!  This is all wrong!" said Nina trying to break
>> free from the spell that seemed to have ensnared all of the LNH.
>>  "None of this makes any sense!  Even for an LNH story this all seems
>> way too..."
>>
>> "NO!   THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!!" boomed the voice of The Totally Real
>> Ultimate Ninja as his glowing, crackling eyes pierced into Nina's
>> eyes.  The colors in the LNHHQ lobby disappeared except for various
>> shades of crimson red.  "I AM THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA!  THIS
>> IS TOTALLY TRUE!  NO, REALLY!!  I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TOTALLY REAL
>> ULTIMATE NINJA!  AND I SHALL AND FOREVER AND EVER BE THE TOTALLY REAL
>> ULTIMATE NINJA!  SERIOUSLY FOLKS!  THIS IS ALL TOTALLY, REALLY,
>> REALLY, REALLY TRUE!! SWEAR TO GOD!!!!  WHO IS THE REAL TOTALLY REAL
>> ULTIMATE NINJA?!!!"
>>
>> And everyone in the room in unison shouted with there eyes kind of
>> glazed over, "YOU ARE!  YOU ARE THE TOTALLY REAL ULTIMATE NINJA!!!!"
>>
>> And Nina?  Tears began to fall from her eyes.  Tears of joy. And she
>> rushed over to The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja and gave him a big hug.
>>  "Oh, God!  You're back!  I'm sorry I doubted you!!  But you're back,
>> Uncle!  The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is Back!!  Back to Lead Us ALL!!!"
>>
>> "Umm, oof -- yeah," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja wincing in
>> pain as Nina's big hug began to crush him to death.  "Uhh, could you
>> go a little bit easier with the -- aaagggghhhh -- can't can't..."
>>
>> "Oh!  Sorry, Uncle!  I guess escaping from the afterlife took a toll
>> on you?  I guess that's why you look so incredibly out of shape?"
>>
>> "Yeah, uh... sure."  And quickly added.  "And probably all that saving
>> the Looniverse too.  That took quite a toll!
>>
>> "Anyhow, you did a fine job -- leading this place, Nina.  But that's
>> over with.  Because I'm back.  And because I'm The Totally Real
>> Ultimate Ninja!  And I won the LNH Leadership in the Biggest Landslide
>> Ever!  So Big!!  And now it's going to be all like it was!  Back to
>> the Glory Days!"  And he turned and addressed all the LNH'rs that were
>> currently in the lobby and pumped his fists in the air.  "THE LNH IS
>> BACK, BABY!  AND BETTER THAN EVER!!"
>>
>> And all of the LNH'rs started hooting and hollering.  And a number of
>> them shouted, totally overjoyed, "It's Party Time!"  The Totally Real
>> Ultimate Ninja was back.  Everything was Right with the World Again.
>>
>> Bad Judgment Boy looked at what was happening with a gleam in his
>> eyes.  "I have a really, really good feeling about all this!  Hmm.  Am
>> I still President?  Am I running for President? Probably should look
>> into that."
>>
>> And The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja looked at Totally Real LNH Writer
>> with a smirk on his face.  "Can you see if you can get all of those
>> passwords and codes?"
>>
>> "Sure.  What are you going to do?"
>>
>> "Oh, you know.  Just your typical Totally Real Ultimate Ninja Top
>> Secret Stuff -- that sort of thing."  And they both laughed.
>>
>>  ** ** ** **
>>
>> Elsewhere, in a Las Vegas Casino...
>>
>> A man wearing a bright red pimp hat and shades, and a pink fur coat
>> was shaking a fist full of dice.  He let the dice fly on the craps
>> table.  Damn.  Snake Eyes!  And then he looked at his hand.  The
>> tattoos were gone.  They were all gone.  He looked at his other hand. 
>> And then various other parts of his skin.  And then began to freak out
>> and tear whatever clothes he had been wearing off.  They were all
>> gone!  All of his tattoos were gone!!  What had happened to them?!!
>>
>> Continuity Porn Star ran from various Security Guards that were trying
>> to tackle him and made his way out of the Casino and then collapsed
>> onto the sidewalk.
>>
>> Something was wrong with the World.  Something was very, very wrong.
>>
>>  ** ** ** **
>>
>> To Be Continued?!!
>>
>>  ** ** ** **
>>
>>
>> The Ultimate Ninja is wReam's
>> (Ultimate Ninja II) Nina Yamashiro is Amabel Holland's
>> Fearless Leader is Dave Van Domelen's
>> Master Roster Man is Jef Kolodziej's
>> Amnesia is Jeff Barnes's
>> And Bad Judgment Boy, Continuity Porn Star, Totally
>> Real LNH Writer, and Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are
>> mine.
>>
>>
>> Writer's Notes:
>>
>> Hah!  Sorry about this!  I had zero ideas about what
>> to do with all the previous stuff -- so I just ignored
>> it and skipped a bunch of issues because this idea
>> popped into my head and I had to do it.
>>
>> Totally Real LNH Writer is a slight reworking of this
>> character that I've thought about for a long time and
>> I think I did post about this character in some RACC
>> threads.  I called him Fake LNH Writer back then.
>> He has the superpower to convince people that he's
>> a real LNH writer, but is pretty ordinary beyond that
>> power.  He carries around fake reviews and fake awards
>> that he's won for all the fake LNH stories he's never
>> actually wrote.
>>
>> And Totally Real Ultimate Ninja is kind of the same.
>> Just with the power to convince everyone that he's
>> The Real Ultimate Ninja, but a very ordinary person
>> besides that power.
>>
>> I'd say the characters are these grifter types who
>> have mostly up to this point been using their powers
>> for very petty small time stuff.
>>
>> So, I've written another LNH story.  Every story I write
>> now days feels a bit like the last one I'll ever write.
>> But here's one more.
>>
>> Arthur "The Totally Real..." Spitzer
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