Right! Having got the problems with the public address system sorted out
(I’m sure Kenton never has to put up with this sort of thing at the
Ambridge Fete, but then he has a team of crack BBC engineers setting
things up for him. If only we had one available to us) let’s move on the
the next category which is the self-referential Bad Taste About Umra
award. To present it we move from a woman who is giving up a royal
position to a couple who have given up the media spotlight to hide away
under a media spotlight. Who better to resent an award for social media
than the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I’m sorry, that should have read
“present”, or as we used to say TWATBILI.

Who are you calling a twat?

And his name’s Harry, not Billy.

That’s right Megs. Shall we just get on with this, we’ve got a Netflix
special to record in half an hour. We don’t need to spend much time on
these small people.

Don’t forget these small people pay their Netflix subscriptions so they
can find out all about us.

Not *all* I hope. The nominations are:

Sam Plusnet wrote:
I also thought Sid would appreciate the cognitive dissonance caused by a
wreath which spelled out "MUM" - but no.

Nominated byNick Odell

Nick Odell wrote:
Vicky wrote [after Mike McMillan had recounted a tale of helming
a boat]:
We were at a party on a boat on the Thames some years
ago and after I told them I got my steering ticket on a
200,000 ton tanker (10 hrs helming) they let me steer
the boat for a while.
Would that have been the Marchioness?

Nominated by Kate B

BrritSki wrote:
Sam Plusnet wrote:
Rosie Mitchell wrote:
John Ashby wrote:
[Details of the handover of BTM duties]
Should there not be some kind of ceremony
involving the incoming office-bearer being
dragged kicking and screaming to the Chair?
Not a good idea. That "Chair" looks more like a wobbly
stool from this angle.
Is it plugged in ?

Nominated by Serena Blanchflower

And the winner is Nick Odell for the Marchioness.

Or as I call her, Aunt Hannah. Come on, Megs, let’s go before… well
let’s just go.

Thank you the Sussexes.

John Ashby wrote:

> Right! Having got the problems with the public address system sorted out
> (I’m sure Kenton never has to put up with this sort of thing at the
> Ambridge Fete, but then he has a team of crack BBC engineers setting
> things up for him. If only we had one available to us) let’s move on the
> the next category which is the self-referential Bad Taste About Umra
> award. To present it we move from a woman who is giving up a royal
> position to a couple who have given up the media spotlight to hide away
> under a media spotlight. Who better to resent an award for social media
> than the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I’m sorry, that should have read
> “present”, or as we used to say TWATBILI.

> Who are you calling a twat?

> And his name’s Harry, not Billy.

> That’s right Megs. Shall we just get on with this, we’ve got a Netflix
> special to record in half an hour. We don’t need to spend much time on
> these small people.

> Don’t forget these small people pay their Netflix subscriptions so they
> can find out all about us.

> Not *all* I hope. The nominations are:

> Sam Plusnet wrote:
> I also thought Sid would appreciate the cognitive dissonance caused by a
> wreath which spelled out "MUM" - but no.

> Nominated byNick Odell

> Nick Odell wrote:
> Vicky wrote [after Mike McMillan had recounted a tale of helming
> a boat]:
> We were at a party on a boat on the Thames some years
> ago and after I told them I got my steering ticket on a
> 200,000 ton tanker (10 hrs helming) they let me steer
> the boat for a while.
> Would that have been the Marchioness?

> Nominated by Kate B

> BrritSki wrote:
> Sam Plusnet wrote:
> Rosie Mitchell wrote:
> John Ashby wrote:
> [Details of the handover of BTM duties]
> Should there not be some kind of ceremony
> involving the incoming office-bearer being
> dragged kicking and screaming to the Chair?
> Not a good idea. That "Chair" looks more like a wobbly
> stool from this angle.
> Is it plugged in ?

> Nominated by Serena Blanchflower

> And the winner is Nick Odell for the Marchioness.

> Or as I call her, Aunt Hannah. Come on, Megs, let’s go before… well
> let’s just go.

> Thank you the Sussexes.

Oh good grief! Not again. Thank you Kate, thank you John. After my success with the Marchioness perhaps I ought to go on to bigger things - like The Herald of Free Enterprise?

Oh: does this mean I have to repeat all that twaddle about John being a beacon of excellence in the Bad Taste Monitorisation of UMRA? Lord give me strength!

Nick

On 06/01/2024 18:30, nick wrote:
> John Ashby wrote:
>
>> Right! Having got the problems with the public address system sorted
>> out (I’m sure Kenton never has to put up with this sort of thing at
>> the Ambridge Fete, but then he has a team of crack BBC engineers
>> setting things up for him. If only we had one available to us) let’s
>> move on the the next category which is the self-referential Bad Taste
>> About Umra award. To present it we move from a woman who is giving up
>> a royal position to a couple who have given up the media spotlight to
>> hide away under a media spotlight. Who better to resent an award for
>> social media than the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I’m sorry, that
>> should have read “present”, or as we used to say TWATBILI.
>
>> Who are you calling a twat?
>
>> And his name’s Harry, not Billy.
>
>> That’s right Megs. Shall we just get on with this, we’ve got a Netflix
>> special to record in half an hour. We don’t need to spend much time on
>> these small people.
>
>> Don’t forget these small people pay their Netflix subscriptions so
>> they can find out all about us.
>
>> Not *all* I hope. The nominations are:
>
>> Sam Plusnet wrote:
>>     I also thought Sid would appreciate the cognitive dissonance
>> caused by a
>>     wreath which spelled out "MUM" - but no.
>
>> Nominated byNick Odell
>
>> Nick Odell wrote:
>>     Vicky wrote [after Mike McMillan had recounted a tale of helming
>>     a boat]:
>>         We were at a party on a boat on the Thames some years
>>         ago and after I    told them I got my steering ticket on a
>>         200,000 ton tanker (10 hrs helming) they let me steer
>>         the boat for a while.
>>     Would that have been the Marchioness?
>
>> Nominated by Kate B
>
>> BrritSki wrote:
>>     Sam Plusnet wrote:
>>         Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>>             John Ashby wrote:
>>                 [Details of the handover of BTM duties]
>>             Should there not be some kind of ceremony
>>             involving the incoming office-bearer being
>>             dragged kicking and screaming to the Chair?
>>         Not a good idea. That "Chair" looks more like a wobbly
>>         stool from this angle.
>>     Is it plugged in ?
>
>> Nominated by Serena Blanchflower
>
>> And the winner is Nick Odell for the Marchioness.
>
>> Or as I call her, Aunt Hannah. Come on, Megs, let’s go before… well
>> let’s just go.
>
>> Thank you the Sussexes.
>
> Oh good grief! Not again. Thank you Kate, thank you John. After my
> success with the Marchioness perhaps I ought to go on to bigger things -
> like The Herald of Free Enterprise?
> Oh: does this mean I have to repeat all that twaddle about John being a
> beacon of excellence in the Bad Taste Monitorisation of UMRA? Lord give
> me strength!
>
> Nick

I think it's very clear that I have been upgraded to a Beacon of Mediocrity.

john