Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, respected umrats, disrespected
umrats, small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri all gathered together
and grooving in a cave with a Pict and others. Welcome to the splendour
that is the Nuneaton Travelodge which is handy for those wishing to
spread their wings and should not be confused with the cultural centre
that is the Nuneaton Bedworth Travelodge. I think I can safely say that
we’ve all had enough of culture in the last year and that for most of us
the cream is finally getting the better of it so we don’t want to risk a
re-infection.

As you are all aware we are gathered here for the 2023 Umra Bad Taste
Awards Ceremony and we have a splendid Gala evening for you. We had
hoped to bring you a star guest to MC these proceeding, Travelodge
royalty personified but Lenny only does gigs for charity these days and
anyway, wrong hotel chain, so you’ve got me instead. I know, I’m just as
disappointed as you are but it does give me a chance to bow out as BTM
on a high. Not that any illegal substances have been involved this
evening. Well, not yet.

Now before I get lost in a morose maudlin morass of my own making let’s
have the first category which is for Bad Taste concerning the
unbelievable events in the nightly soap opera that is The News. And to
introduce the nominees here is a man who has News written all through
him like seaside rock, Nicholas Witchell.

Thank you. Before I read the nominations I should warn any lesbians in
the audience that I’m still perfectly prepared to sit on you if necessary.

The nominations are:

Vicky wrote:
Sally Thompson wrote:
Mike McMillan wrote [of four colombian chldren rescued
after a plane crash]:
Very good news and I suspect that someone is
already trying to set up a book and film
contract…
I just thought it was so amazing. Those poor children.
I gather the teacher died after 3 days and I wondered what the
children ate to keep themselves alive.

Nominated by Sally Thompson

Nick Odell wrote [on the death of Haydn Gwynne]:
She won masses of theatre and television awards in the UK and
elsewhere but, perhaps surprisingly, not so many in the USA.
Still, those of us who first saw her in the television series of
David Lodge's "Nice Work" would be able to confirm that she
already had a very fine set of Golden Globes of her own.

Nominated by Ben Blaney

Now would be a good time to invade the stage if you think you’re hard
enough. Nobody? In that case the winner is Nick Odell for Haydn Gwynne’s
Golden Globes.

Thank you, Nicholas Witchell, so nice to be working with a professional
again.

John Ashby wrote:

> Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, respected umrats, disrespected
> umrats, small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri all gathered together
> and grooving in a cave with a Pict and others. Welcome to the splendour
> that is the Nuneaton Travelodge which is handy for those wishing to
> spread their wings and should not be confused with the cultural centre
> that is the Nuneaton Bedworth Travelodge. I think I can safely say that
> we’ve all had enough of culture in the last year and that for most of us
> the cream is finally getting the better of it so we don’t want to risk a
> re-infection.

> As you are all aware we are gathered here for the 2023 Umra Bad Taste
> Awards Ceremony and we have a splendid Gala evening for you. We had
> hoped to bring you a star guest to MC these proceeding, Travelodge
> royalty personified but Lenny only does gigs for charity these days and
> anyway, wrong hotel chain, so you’ve got me instead. I know, I’m just as
> disappointed as you are but it does give me a chance to bow out as BTM
> on a high. Not that any illegal substances have been involved this
> evening. Well, not yet.

> Now before I get lost in a morose maudlin morass of my own making let’s
> have the first category which is for Bad Taste concerning the
> unbelievable events in the nightly soap opera that is The News. And to
> introduce the nominees here is a man who has News written all through
> him like seaside rock, Nicholas Witchell.

> Thank you. Before I read the nominations I should warn any lesbians in
> the audience that I’m still perfectly prepared to sit on you if necessary.

> The nominations are:

> Vicky wrote:
> Sally Thompson wrote:
> Mike McMillan wrote [of four colombian chldren rescued
> after a plane crash]:
> Very good news and I suspect that someone is
> already trying to set up a book and film
> contract…
> I just thought it was so amazing. Those poor children.
> I gather the teacher died after 3 days and I wondered what the
> children ate to keep themselves alive.

> Nominated by Sally Thompson

> Nick Odell wrote [on the death of Haydn Gwynne]:
> She won masses of theatre and television awards in the UK and
> elsewhere but, perhaps surprisingly, not so many in the USA.
> Still, those of us who first saw her in the television series of
> David Lodge's "Nice Work" would be able to confirm that she
> already had a very fine set of Golden Globes of her own.

> Nominated by Ben Blaney

> Now would be a good time to invade the stage if you think you’re hard
> enough. Nobody? In that case the winner is Nick Odell for Haydn Gwynne’s
> Golden Globes.

> Thank you, Nicholas Witchell, so nice to be working with a professional
> again.

Thank you John, thank you Ben, thank you David Lodge and thank you, Haydn Gwynne, without whose Golden Globes none of this would have been possible.

In case this is my only win of the night and I don't get another chance to stand up here in front of you all at the Nuneaton Travelodge, may I just add another, special thanks to John for being a supremely fair, firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual place, if you don't mind)

Nick

On Sat, 6 Jan 2024 18:06:41 +0000, nickodell49@yahoo.ca (nick) wrote:

>John Ashby wrote:
>
>> Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, respected umrats, disrespected
>> umrats, small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri all gathered together
>> and grooving in a cave with a Pict and others. Welcome to the splendour
>> that is the Nuneaton Travelodge which is handy for those wishing to
>> spread their wings and should not be confused with the cultural centre
>> that is the Nuneaton Bedworth Travelodge. I think I can safely say that
>> we’ve all had enough of culture in the last year and that for most of us
>> the cream is finally getting the better of it so we don’t want to risk a
>> re-infection.
>
>> As you are all aware we are gathered here for the 2023 Umra Bad Taste
>> Awards Ceremony and we have a splendid Gala evening for you. We had
>> hoped to bring you a star guest to MC these proceeding, Travelodge
>> royalty personified but Lenny only does gigs for charity these days and
>> anyway, wrong hotel chain, so you’ve got me instead. I know, I’m just as
>> disappointed as you are but it does give me a chance to bow out as BTM
>> on a high. Not that any illegal substances have been involved this
>> evening. Well, not yet.
>
>> Now before I get lost in a morose maudlin morass of my own making let’s
>> have the first category which is for Bad Taste concerning the
>> unbelievable events in the nightly soap opera that is The News. And to
>> introduce the nominees here is a man who has News written all through
>> him like seaside rock, Nicholas Witchell.
>
>> Thank you. Before I read the nominations I should warn any lesbians in
>> the audience that I’m still perfectly prepared to sit on you if necessary.
>
>> The nominations are:
>
>> Vicky wrote:
>> Sally Thompson wrote:
>> Mike McMillan wrote [of four colombian chldren rescued
>> after a plane crash]:
>> Very good news and I suspect that someone is
>> already trying to set up a book and film
>> contract?
>> I just thought it was so amazing. Those poor children.
>> I gather the teacher died after 3 days and I wondered what the
>> children ate to keep themselves alive.
>
>> Nominated by Sally Thompson
>
>> Nick Odell wrote [on the death of Haydn Gwynne]:
>> She won masses of theatre and television awards in the UK and
>> elsewhere but, perhaps surprisingly, not so many in the USA.
>> Still, those of us who first saw her in the television series of
>> David Lodge's "Nice Work" would be able to confirm that she
>> already had a very fine set of Golden Globes of her own.
>
>> Nominated by Ben Blaney
>
>> Now would be a good time to invade the stage if you think you’re hard
>> enough. Nobody? In that case the winner is Nick Odell for Haydn Gwynne’s
>> Golden Globes.
>
>> Thank you, Nicholas Witchell, so nice to be working with a professional
>> again.
>
>Thank you John, thank you Ben, thank you David Lodge and thank you, Haydn Gwynne, without whose Golden Globes none of this would have been possible.
>
>In case this is my only win of the night and I don't get another chance to stand up here in front of you all at the Nuneaton Travelodge, may I just add another, special thanks to John for being a supremely fair, firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual place, if you don't mind)
>
>Nick
And thanks from me too, for the being monitor and organising this
wonderful ceremony.

On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
> ... special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it has
> been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual place,
> if you don't mind)
>
<LW>

On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it has
>> been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual
>> place, if you don't mind)
>>
> <LW>
>

I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of appreciation
(including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will only say that I
have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power that umra has to
offer and wish my successor every, er, success. I am particularly
grateful to her for the award of the first BTN of her reign, especially
as it came from the announcement of the award ceremony. Self referential
or what?

john (BTM emeritus)

On 06-Jan-24 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it has
>> been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual
>> place, if you don't mind)
>>
> <LW>
>
Well yes. Quite! Just so.

--
Sam Plusnet

On 06/01/2024 20:26, John Ashby wrote:
> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the usual
>>> place, if you don't mind)
>>>
>> <LW>
>>
>
> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of appreciation
> (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will only say that I
> have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power that umra has to
> offer and wish my successor every, er, success. I am particularly
> grateful to her for the award of the first BTN of her reign, especially
> as it came from the announcement of the award ceremony. Self referential
> or what?
>
Indeed. No doubt you will disappear up a black hole in a puff of smoke.

John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:

> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>
>> <LW>
>>
>
> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
> that umra has to offer

Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.

Rosie

On 07/01/2024 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>
>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>
>>> <LW>
>>>
>>
>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>> that umra has to offer
>
> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>
That's just going to seed an argument about who should cede control.

BrritSki <rtilburyTAKEOUT@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 07/01/2024 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>>
>>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>>
>>>> <LW>
>>>>
>>>
>>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>>> that umra has to offer
>>
>> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
>> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
>> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
>> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>>
> That's just going to seed an argument about who should cede control.
>
>

Perhaps you might care to just monitor the situation for this cession.

--
Toodle Pip, Mike McMillan

On 07-Jan-24 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>
>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>
>>> <LW>
>>>
>>
>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>> that umra has to offer
>
> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.

I had forgotten about all that. Wasn't someone appointed as the Gecko
for ... something or other?

--
Sam Plusnet

On 07/01/2024 18:59, Sam Plusnet wrote:
> On 07-Jan-24 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>>
>>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>>
>>>> <LW>
>>>>
>>>
>>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>>> that umra has to offer
>>
>> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
>> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
>> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
>> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>
> I had forgotten about all that.  Wasn't someone appointed as the Gecko
> for ... something or other?
>
Wasn't that a load of bull cooked up by the Minotaur monitor ?

On 07-Jan-24 20:46, BrritSki wrote:
> On 07/01/2024 18:59, Sam Plusnet wrote:
>> On 07-Jan-24 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>>> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>>>
>>>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>>>
>>>>> <LW>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>>>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>>>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>>>> that umra has to offer
>>>
>>> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
>>> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
>>> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
>>> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>>
>> I had forgotten about all that.  Wasn't someone appointed as the Gecko
>> for ... something or other?
>>
> Wasn't that a load of bull cooked up by the Minotaur monitor ?

It's amazeing what goes on here.

(Sorry, I think I've lost the thread now.)

--
Sam Plusnet

On 07/01/2024 22:33, Sam Plusnet wrote:
> On 07-Jan-24 20:46, BrritSki wrote:
>> On 07/01/2024 18:59, Sam Plusnet wrote:
>>> On 07-Jan-24 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>>>> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>>>>
>>>>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>>>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>> <LW>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>>>>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>>>>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>>>>> that umra has to offer
>>>>
>>>> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
>>>> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
>>>> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
>>>> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>>>
>>> I had forgotten about all that.  Wasn't someone appointed as the
>>> Gecko for ... something or other?
>>>
>> Wasn't that a load of bull cooked up by the Minotaur monitor ?
>
> It's amazeing what goes on here.
>
> (Sorry, I think I've lost the thread now.)
>
I think I read a thesius about that, a pal of Jazzer (OBTA) called
Harold got lost - in fact 'Arry 'ad nay idea where he was going.

On 08-Jan-24 10:08, BrritSki wrote:
> On 07/01/2024 22:33, Sam Plusnet wrote:
>> On 07-Jan-24 20:46, BrritSki wrote:
>>> On 07/01/2024 18:59, Sam Plusnet wrote:
>>>> On 07-Jan-24 13:00, Rosie Mitchell wrote:
>>>>> John Ashby <johnashby20@yahoo.com> writes:
>>>>>
>>>>>> On 06/01/2024 19:00, BrritSki wrote:
>>>>>>> On 06/01/2024 18:06, nick wrote:
>>>>>>>> ...  special thanks to John for being a supremely fair,
>>>>>>>> firm and supremely supreme Bad Taste Monitor under whose regime it
>>>>>>>> has been a pleasure to serve. (Leave the brown envelope in the
>>>>>>>> usual place, if you don't mind)
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> <LW>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I should say a few words of appreciation for those words of
>>>>>> appreciation (including Vicky's) but then where will it end. I will
>>>>>> only say that I have immmensely enjoyed wielding the supreme power
>>>>>> that umra has to offer
>>>>>
>>>>> Only since the role superseded that of the Supersede Monitor, which
>>>>> seems to have vanished some time ago. I do recall that there was an
>>>>> overload of Monitors at one time and an agreement to abolish all of
>>>>> them except for the Supersede Monitor and the BTM.
>>>>
>>>> I had forgotten about all that.  Wasn't someone appointed as the
>>>> Gecko for ... something or other?
>>>>
>>> Wasn't that a load of bull cooked up by the Minotaur monitor ?
>>
>> It's amazeing what goes on here.
>>
>> (Sorry, I think I've lost the thread now.)
>>
> I think I read a thesius about that, a pal of Jazzer (OBTA) called
> Harold got lost - in fact 'Arry 'ad nay idea where he was going.

Well done. It only took a Cockney Scotsman to pull it off.

--
Sam Plusnet