Message-ID:

"When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical." -- Jon Carroll

interests / rec.outdoors.rv-travel / Criminals Flood Into Texas After Learning How Easy It Is to Get Acquitted

Criminals Flood Into Texas After Learning How Easy It Is to Get Acquitted

<a3834974-6cd4-4a3a-bcdb-a6b41149be73n@googlegroups.com>

https://news.novabbs.org/interests/article-flat.php?id=20336&group=rec.outdoors.rv-travel#20336

copy link Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel

X-Received: by 2002:a05:622a:678f:b0:417:b54b:e45a with SMTP id hz15-20020a05622a678f00b00417b54be45amr75463qtb.4.1695136299219;
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 08:11:39 -0700 (PDT)
X-Received: by 2002:a05:6870:b7b4:b0:1c8:ce14:65d3 with SMTP id
ed52-20020a056870b7b400b001c8ce1465d3mr4503423oab.8.1695136298874; Tue, 19
Sep 2023 08:11:38 -0700 (PDT)
Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!usenet.blueworldhosting.com!diablo1.usenet.blueworldhosting.com!peer02.iad!feed-me.highwinds-media.com!news.highwinds-media.com!news-out.google.com!nntp.google.com!postnews.google.com!google-groups.googlegroups.com!not-for-mail
Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel
Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2023 08:11:38 -0700 (PDT)
Injection-Info: google-groups.googlegroups.com; posting-host=24.20.150.129; posting-account=HIH-ZAkAAAAlEA8Cu9PknyZEHUXnh0df
NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.20.150.129
User-Agent: G2/1.0
MIME-Version: 1.0
Message-ID: <a3834974-6cd4-4a3a-bcdb-a6b41149be73n@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Criminals Flood Into Texas After Learning How Easy It Is to Get Acquitted
From: technobarbarian@gmail.com (Technobarbarian)
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2023 15:11:39 +0000
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
X-Received-Bytes: 2167

by: Technobarbarian - Tue, 19 Sep 2023 15:11 UTC

TEXAS (The Borowitz Report)—Thousands of hardened criminals poured into Texas over the weekend after learning how easy it is to secure an acquittal there.

Interstate freeways were reportedly backed up for miles as acquittal-seeking perpetrators sought to put down roots in soft-on-crime Texas.

Harland Dorrinson, a self-styled recidivist who has been convicted in Ohio, Missouri, and Wisconsin, said that he was heading to the Lone Star state because, “in Texas, no one is below the law.”

“An acquittal is yours for the asking if you’re white, male, and nefarious,” he said. “I check all the boxes.”

When told that one must also be elected as a Republican in order to qualify for Texas’s special “conviction exemption,” the career criminal was unfazed, noting that “even Greg Abbott” managed to do that.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/criminals-flood-into-texas-after-learning-how-easy-it-is-to-get-acquitted

Subject	Author
Criminals Flood Into Texas After Learning How Easy It Is to Get Acquitted	Technobarbarian